No Time for Traditional Lovin'

by Emilee Jennings

“Hi! I’m Karen, 20 years old from Mayo. My favourite sexual position is the “Cow Girl”. Who are you, where do you come from and what’s your preferred sexual position?” That was the opening line at a recent student speed-dating session.

As our lives continue to quicken pace, so too do our expectations. We want quick, easy, convenient food that can slip smoothly into our hectic lifestyles. Many of us expect our love lives to be just as simple. In our newly fangled modern society we want quick, easy and simple love. Isn’t it love after all that fulfils a person’s happiness and that is what we all want ultimately, not to mention, of course, the endorphin releasing benefits that are entwined in this form of love.

With pornography, and the general sexualisation of the western world, many of us express our “love” for a person before we actually feel this aforementioned love. The words of an old children’s classic have in my mind been twisted…. “First comes baby, second comes marriage, and then comes love”…. Maybe, or perhaps divorce!

I mean how can a person choose an ice-cream flavour when there are so many enticing ones to sample and enjoy.

Is this perhaps due to our ever improving technology? We all want the latest of everything. We may have a perfect condition iPod/phone/laptop/car or whatever, but when the latest edition comes out we want it, even if it is only because we feel it has something better to offer us, or perhaps we just got bored! Is this what’s happening a lot in modern relationships; one partner is constantly upgrading their significant other sometimes unbeknownst to the person. Or do we simply have too much? As Britney Spears sang after her inner struggles…“Gimme gimme more” can anyone survive in a world like this.

As our minds become bombarded with constant and immediate world wide information, perhaps our attention span has dwindled. In a world where media and television is intense our minds expect everything to come with this intensity so when we no longer possess these overpowering sensational feelings for another we may lose our urge to be with this person and begin searching for this feeling in someone else. I think perhaps we need to find a comfort within ourselves first.

Back to the speed-dating. The students in question only had approximately one minute to get to know each another. It is thus clear that sexual compatibility was immensely important to these students.

For the traditionalists among us, do not fret! There is always the option of applying to the Knock Marriage Bureau. The Knock Marriage Bureau celebrates its fortieth anniversary this year as well as 860 marriages. It is administrated by the Archbishop of Tuam and the bishops of the other Connacht dioceses. According to the website, the Bureau “was established in 1968 under the patronage of Our Lady of Knock to help

Catholics to meet suitable prospective marriage partners.

It's alarming that young people who should be out socialising and enjoying themselves are instead looking for love via the net. Are we so technology obsessed that we will eventually become one with our internet accessible gadgets that we will no longer have time for one on one personal contact? After all it is easier to type how you feel after a long day in school/ college/ work or web browsing rather than actually physically expressing it but can this fast paced, distance cold medium actually erase our feelings of loneliness or much more likely will it increase them and just push us into further isolation until we no longer know the meaning of intimacy!

So I guess the question is do you prefer a fast paced exciting dating scene or a slower more relaxed introduction. Personally, I prefer the old fashioned situation, where after two years you will be discussing silage and foals and using a real wheelbarrow rather than the sexual kind – although that is also an important aspect so don’t get me wrong there!! But maybe that’s just because I’m a country girl at heart!!